


Don't Leave Me Alone

by theother19pilots



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Eating Disorders, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Josh is Sad, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mutual Pining, idk - Freeform, idk what this is tbh, they like eachother, we'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:08:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9568871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theother19pilots/pseuds/theother19pilots
Summary: They're both sad and they both wanna be sad together but they both don't wanna admit it.They're both stubborn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> im just having a real bad time and idk  
> UNRELATED AGJKGAEHLEJFV HDS VID CAME OUT WHILE I WAS IN BIO AND  
> I GOT THE NOTIFICATION AND COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BC  
> THERE WAS A LECTURE GOING ON AND UGH I HATE HIGHSCHOOL

Josh is having just a really bad day. Scratch that, he's having a bad week. Bad month. Bad year. SCRATCH ALL OF THAT, HE'S JUST HAVING A REALLY BAD LIFE.  
He loves playing shows but he's scared out there. He never expected for any of this to go this far, now hes playing at Madison Square Garden and has A MILLION followers on twitter and people ask to take pictures with him on the street and paparazzi come after him and there are so many people at their shows and Tyler and suddenly Josh is finding it harder and harder to breathe and even harder to stop thinking. He wishes he could just drown out his thoughts but he doesn't know HOW AND-

Tyler walks in. Josh really wishes Tyler didn't see him like this and now he feels even worse. "Josh, hey... are you ok??"

"Not now Tyler please."

Tyler looks hesitant but he sits down next to Josh on the bed. Josh's sitting on Tyler's bed since Tyler's got the lower bunk but they both know neither of them care. They share basically everything this doesn't seem to matter in the slightest. Josh is crying and his breathing is kind of scary and he's all tense; it seems like Tyler would be scared but he always knows exactly what to do, and Josh knows this.

Tyler puts his hand on Josh's shoulder and leans his head on him. "Ok Josh, it's all Ok. I'm here now." he rubs Josh's shoulder circles because he knows it calms him down. "You wanna talk about it?"

Josh seems to have calmed down maybe a little but he's still just as scared and Tyler is making him think a lot and the thoughts he's thinking are the ones he doesn't like but they're so hard to drown out especially when the problem is right next to him and now he's all scared again. "No. Just leave, its fine. I don't wanna talk." he says in monotone as to not attract any attention to himself, like he isn't already with his scream-breathing. 

"That's okay, you know you don't have to. You know what to do, take deep breaths, in for four seconds then hold for six then out for eight."

Josh does this a few times and it calms him down because Tyler always knows just what to do to make him feel better. He puts his hand on Tyler's knee as a little thank you and Tyler wrap his arm around Josh. God, Tyler knows Josh so well. He knows exactly what he likes. He's literally perfect, he just gets Josh so well, like no one else in the whole world can. Tyler really really cares, and Josh is thoroughly convinced Tyler is the actual best friend in the world. Friend. His best friend. His best friend in the world that he only thinks of as a friend and definitely has absolutely no feelings for whatsoever and wants to remain, that's right, as platonic friends. Forever. Nothing else. Don't even suggest it. Josh doesn't even ever think about that at all except he wants to kiss him so bad right now and that definitely is not the reason hes heaving again. 

"Josh, hey, lets calm down. Do the breaths, come on count with me. You're okay, we've got this, alright? Ok ready... one..." Josh shoves Tyler's arm off of him harshly in a fit of anger and confusion and frustration and sadness and panic and just not knowing what to do and he bolts up and-

"GET OUT OK. JUST GET THE HELL OUT. WHAT-WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I SAID TO LEAVE. I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE. JUST GET. OUT." Josh is all red and panting and crying so much he almost can't see Tyler's eyes well up and him shake as he turns around and leaves while shutting the door carefully on his way out. His heart is almost beating so hard and loud that he can't hear Tyler's muffled cries on the other side of the door. Almost. But, he can. Josh thinks he can literally feel his heart rip in two. It's just, he panicked and Ty got too close and he didn't know what to do and he felt so many feelings that he didn't know what to do with and he thought Tyler would figure it out and he just CAN'T SEEM TO GET ANY KIND OF BREATH. He doesn't deserve Tyler. He doesn't deserve anything good or anyone or any happiness ever again. 

Tyler can't express how much that hurt him, but he doesn't want Josh to know and he really hopes that josh didn't notice him tear up on his way out. He tried so hard to be quiet and gentle with the door when he left. He knows how upset Josh would probably be if he had known he'd upset Tyler. Tyler is a bad, bad friend. He didn't leave when Josh had asked. He made Josh upset and that was all his fault. All he wants is for Josh to be happy, that's all he wants. Should he go back and apologize? Tyler just so badly wants for Josh to be happy, he would do anything. That's why Tyler tries to hide his feelings, because he knows for a fact Josh doesn't like him back. I mean, look at what just happened! Tyler is stupid for ever even thinking about him like that and just getting his hopes up to nothing. He knows it'll never happen.

Josh knows it will never happen. He obviously regrets what just happened but hes thinking, 'good maybe this will create some space between us, we were getting way too close.' He hopes maybe if Tyler thought Josh liked him before, that its all gone now so Tyler can be comfortable. Or, maybe he should just tell Tyler how he feels and get it all over with so he can just come clean and be honest? Josh almost slaps himself at the idea. 

I mean, even if Josh liked Tyler back, what would even happen there? They would be together 24/7, plus maybe it would be awkward considering that they're literally inseparable? And Tyler's family could never know, with their religious background and all. And fans probably wouldn't even be able to handle it, they would find out and then eventually spread it to their parents. Whatever, Tyler would never tell Josh. He just wants Josh to be happy. Which is why he goes in to apologize. 

Josh is ugly and unlovable. He feels fat and gross. Tyler tells him all the time that he looks amazing or whatever, but thats just him saying that because he's the best friend ever. what did Josh do to deserve him?

"Josh? Can i please talk to you for a second?" Tyler says after knocking on his door and opening it slightly

"Yeah Tyler, sure."

Tyler feels like he's going to start crying again but he thinks he can hold it back. "I'm really sorry for uh, staying when you said i should've left. That wasn't really cool of me. I'm really sorry Josh."

"Tyler, it's okay im really sorry for lashing out at you like that. It wasn't really nice of me, i know you were just trying to help me. And it was just cuz..." Josh cuts himself off. He didn't know what he was planning on finishing that sentence with, so instead theres just a long silent pause. That's okay though, because silent pauses are never awkward with Josh and Tyler because of their sheer closeness.

"You wanna play Mario Kart?" Tyler stood up and offered Josh his hand.

Josh wiped his tears. "Heck yeah."

Tyler grabbed Josh's hand and pulled him up so he was face to face to himself. He contimplated kissing him just then and there, ending this all, but he just hugged him instead. It felt like it lasted for hours until Josh pulled away

"Okay thanks for that hour long hug can we play now?" Josh laughed kind of awkwardly, but he didn't mean it to be. Tyler knows that, because Josh's laughs always sound awkward, no matter the context.

They sit together super close on the couch; even though there's TONS of room on either side of them. They cuddle together, and it feels really nice, and they both know they're  
s c r e w e d.

**Author's Note:**

> should i keep going or...?  
> let me know in the comments please,  
> i really appreciate all kinds of feedback. (:


End file.
